When I was younger I had these huge plans for my life, you couldn’t tell me I wouldn’t be rich and successful by 25. Well 25 came and went and no I am not rich and to be honest I wouldn’t consider myself successful based on my standards which aren’t just about money and material things just so we’re clear. I’ve taken hella detours on my journey of life and while sometimes I wish I did some things differently I know that my experiences make me who I am.
Over the past year my life has changed dramatically, from being on dialysis to getting a kidney transplant it has been a rollercoaster and even though I am not where I want to be I do know that I am blessed and forever grateful to see this milestone of an age. However on the other side of all of this positivity ya girl is scared AF! I would be lying if I said I’m approaching 30 feeling calm, cool and collected. It looks so on the outside because I don’t subscribe to public panicking but believe me there are 123253674 thoughts in my mind. Career? Personal goals? Love life? Health? Its a lot to think about and when you’re like me and the browser of your mind has a minimum of 50 tabs open at all times it can drive you crazy.
Some days I feel extremely overwhelmed by the pressure I put on myself to have my shit completely together, but the truth is life isn’t perfect. I’ve met people who seem to have it all together on the outside but in reality they’re also trying to figure things out. This social media world we live in makes it so easy to doubt ourselves or not fully celebrate our wins because someone else’s might seem bigger and better. Don’t let the highlight reel of someone else’s life fool you, we’re all trying to level up in one way or another. If you haven’t accomplished goals you expected to by a certain time or age try changing your outlook. Instead of feeling like you failed be thankful that God has allowed you to see another day to work towards those goals.
I’ve learned a lot about myself during my 20’s and one of those things is comparison is the thief of joy. You can’t admire the grass on the other side if you don’t take the time to water your own, how else is it supposed to flourish? Mind the business that pays you and I’m not just talking about money. Other things on that list include:
- A fuck boy will always be that… A FUCK BOY.
- Quality over Quantity and that goes for everything.
- Everyone doesn’t have the same heart as you.
- Always do your best. Put 100% into everything you do and you will reap the benefits.
- Some people come into your life to teach you a lesson.
- Never dim your light to let someone else shine.
- Stop entertaining people/things past their expiration date. LET IT GO!
- Its ok to love someone from a distance.
- What you allow is what will continue.
- PUT YOURSELF FIRST! No friendship or romantic relationship is more important than you and your health. That includes mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual. If it doesn’t grow you or serve you let it go because what is meant for you will never miss you.
xoxo Ash
