As I approach the end of my 20’s I have to be honest about the amount of pressure I am feeling but the pressure isn’t really coming from anyone else but myself. Growing up I used to imagine what my life would be like by the time I was 25 and you couldn’t tell me I wouldn’t be this big career woman with ALL of my shit together, well 25 came and went and I’m still trying to figure things out. My life has definitely been a rollercoaster (I swear I’m going to write a book!) and I’ve had to deal with things on a daily basis that most people never even have to think about and yes I know life isn’t easy, and yes I know everyone has problems so I’m not complaining. I just know there were some things I could have done differently over the years and even though I hate to dwell on the past it is hard to not think about how things would be if I made different choices.
In addition to things happening in my personal life I’ve also allowed fear and doubt to stop me from starting or doing things that I should have done a long time ago and now 30 is right around the corner and I’m low key ( ok.. high key) panicking because so many people around me are hitting these milestones like starting their careers, getting married or having children and I’m just here trying to keep my shit together.
The past couple of weeks I have found myself in this weird space because I feel like I’m being left behind but I had to ask myself who the hell are you racing to the finish line? And what’s at this finish line? The first thing that comes to my mind is success but success means something different to everyone and I had to remind myself that this is MY path and MY story no one else’s. Now this isn’t an excuse to be lazy and not work towards my goals it’s just a reminder that everything happens when it is supposed to and I need to trust the timing of my life. If you’ve been feeling the same way remember that we all have our season when we come into our own, for some people that season comes earlier than it does for others but as long as we put in the work we will definitely reap the benefits. I have so many plans and goals for 2019 and I’m excited to see where life takes me. To anyone else who has been feeling the way I have been feeling don’t let your thoughts and fears consume you, use the feeling that you should be or could be doing more give you motivation to smash all the goals you have for yourself moving forward!
xoxo Ash